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Going up that river was like travelling back to the earliest beginnings
of the world, when vegetation rioted on the earth and the big trees
were kings. An empty stream, a great silence, an impenetrable forest.
The air was warm, thick, heavy, sluggish. There was no joy in the
brilliance of sunshine. The long stretches of the waterway ran on,
deserted, into the gloom of overshadowed distances. On silvery
sandbanks hippos and alligators sunned themselves side by side. The
broadening waters flowed through a mob of wooded islands; you lost your
way on that river as you would in a desert, and butted all day long
against shoals, trying to find the channel, till you thought yourself
bewitched and cut off for ever from everything you had known once --
somewhere -- far away -- in another existence perhaps. There were
moments when one's past came back to one, as it will sometimes when you
have not a moment to spare to yourself; but it came in the shape of an
unrestful and noisy dream, remembered with wonder amongst the
overwhelming realities of this strange world of plants, and water, and
silence. And this stillness of life did not in the least resemble a
peace. It was the stillness of an implacable force brooding over an
inscrutable intention. It looked at you with a vengeful aspect. I got
used to it afterwards; I did not see it any more; I had no time. I had
to keep guessing at the channel; I had to discern, mostly by
inspiration, the signs of hidden banks; I watched for sunken stones; I
was learning to clap my teeth smartly before my heart flew out, when I
shaved by a fluke some infernal sly old snag that would have ripped the
life out of the tin-pot steamboat and drowned all the pilgrims; I had to
keep a look-out for the signs of dead wood we could cut up in the night
for next day's steaming. When you have to attend to things of that
sort, to the mere incidents of the surface, the reality -- the reality,
I tell you -- fades. The inner truth is hidden -- luckily, luckily.
But I felt it all the same; I felt often its mysterious stillness
watching me at my monkey tricks, just as it watches you fellows
performing on your respective tight-ropes for -- what is it?
half-a-crown a tumble --
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